Here is an excerpt from my upcoming book.. hope you enjoy it and please post comments at the bottom so we can talk more.
Have you ever been in a situation where everything and everyone is spinning out of control? Life is pure chaos and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it . And to make matters worse, imagine…that YOU are a little kid.. in the middle of all this drama and chaos… trying to stay afloat!!! Just trying to survive!!
This is my story. Perhaps you can relate… perhaps you’ve experienced something similar.
“Mommy, mommy, don’t leave!” I scream as I watch my mother scurry out the front door of our humble abode. “Please don’t leave us, don’t leave me!” I’m only six years old; I don’t know how to take care of me! I don’t know how to take care of the family! I’m only a little kid! Who will feed me? Who will take care of me when I’m sick?
She doesn’t respond. She can’t hear me. My mother looks like a wild animal cornered it its cage, a predator ready to devour its prey if provoked. Her bug-eyes seem like they just might pop out of their sockets. Her lips purse tightly and her jaw clenches shut, as steam spews out of her ears and the top of her head. She is filled with RAGE.
Watch out, I think, she’s going to blow a gasket! Here we go again! An all too familiar scene, yet it’s never escalated to this point… never gone quite this far.
“Holy crap, oh God,” I whisper to myself. “What’s happening? This can’t be real! Somebody–anybody–help us! Dad, do something! Stop her!”
My head spins in a million different directions, and I feel woozy. My stomach jolts up and down and side to side, like when I’m on the tilt-a-whirl at Canobie Lake Park. My body feels jumpy and tingly, cold and numb, all at the same time, though I can palpate each sensation individually. Tears steam down my face faster than I can count, plopping everywhere–all over my pink cotton shirt, into my brown locks of hair, and onto the hardwood floor. They taste bitter and salty and sting my lips a little. It hurts, but I don’t care–I’m used to pain!
Oh, dear God, she really is going! No-ooo-oo! She can’t leave..don’t leave me. If you do I might as well curl up in a ball and DIE!!!
What feelings if any, does this evoke in you..do you have something you’d like to share.. do so in the reply column below and we can continue our discussion.. Thanks for being here!!! Look forward to hearing from YOU!!!
Well, here goes nothing…here goes everything…never the less…. here we go!!! This blog is meant for ANYONE who has ever faced a major challenge, illness or cobblestone on their so called path or journey…I suspect, that’s probably just about every person on the planet. I welcome YOU with open arms and a huge heart!
I will be sharing bits and pieces of my cancer journey, from beginning to end and how my life transformation came to pass. Kind of a before..during…and after clip , the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the blessings and miracles that took place and shaped the new “ME.” And the best part of all is: what was possible for me, is without a doubt, possible for anyone. My life today is rich and joyfilled and for that I am ever so grateful!
So, no matter what trials or tribulations you are facing at this moment, know that amidst the chaos there is peace, and beneath fear lies love and hope.
Oh, and by the way, each excerpt is a part of MY BOOK, which will be coming out later this year. I am over the top excited about this!!!!
THE PHONE CALL
“Sweet Lord, why isn’t he calling me back? It’s been two long, excruciating days just waiting with bated breath for this one phone call! Is one silly phone call too much to ask? I don’t think so, because I really need to know! But I don’t want to know. Yet, I must know…
My palms sweat and my stomach flip-flops as it spits out enough acid to create a crater sized ulcer. That queasy, unsettled feeling in the pit of my gut is reminiscent of when I was pregnant. But I’m not pregnant–that is a definite!
I make a half-hearted attempt to eat a piece of wheat toast with Smucker’s grape jelly on it, but my body recoils. The smell alone repulses me, and my throat constricts as it to say, “no, not now!” The toast wins! I toss the remnants in the barrel before I completely lose it.
Pat, get up, the phone is for YOU! Did you forget? This is the call you’ve been waiting for! How do you know? I hear from somewhere inside me. I just do! Hurry up–answer it before he hangs up!
I don’t want to answer it. I’m too frightened. If I don’t pick up, I won’t have to find out the results. That will be better. I’d rather not know. Just answer it, you big baby!
I enter my bedroom, close the door, and gaze down at the telephone. It’s the call I’ve been waiting for. Oh shit!!”
If you have any comments or feedback, please share. I’d love to hear from you! That is indeed how we heal, by helping and guiding one another. I like to call it… shining your light!!!
See you soon!!!