CHAOS

Hi everyone:

Here is an excerpt from my upcoming book.. hope you enjoy it and please post comments at the bottom so we can talk more.

Have you ever been in a situation where everything and everyone is spinning out of control? Life is pure chaos and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it . And to make matters worse, imagine…that YOU are a little kid.. in the middle of all this drama and chaos… trying to stay afloat!!! Just trying to survive!!

This is my story. Perhaps you can relate… perhaps you’ve experienced something similar.

“Mommy, mommy, don’t leave!” I scream as I watch my mother scurry out the front door of our humble abode. “Please don’t leave us, don’t leave me!” I’m only six years old; I don’t know how to take care of me! I don’t know how to take care of the family! I’m only a little kid! Who will feed me? Who will take care of me when I’m sick?

She doesn’t respond. She can’t hear me. My mother looks like a wild animal cornered it its cage, a predator ready to devour its prey if provoked. Her bug-eyes seem like they just might pop out of their sockets. Her lips purse tightly and her jaw clenches shut, as steam spews out of her ears and the top of her head. She is filled with RAGE.

Watch out, I think, she’s going to blow a gasket! Here we go again! An all too familiar scene, yet it’s never escalated to this point… never gone quite this far.

“Holy crap, oh God,” I whisper to myself. “What’s happening? This can’t be real! Somebody–anybody–help us! Dad, do something! Stop her!”

My head spins in a million different directions, and I feel woozy. My stomach jolts up and down and side to side, like when I’m on the tilt-a-whirl at Canobie Lake Park. My body feels jumpy and tingly, cold and numb, all at the same time, though I can palpate each sensation individually. Tears steam down my face faster than I can count, plopping everywhere–all over my pink cotton shirt, into my brown locks of hair, and onto the hardwood floor. They taste bitter and salty and sting my lips a little. It hurts, but I don’t care–I’m used to pain!

Oh, dear God, she really is going! No-ooo-oo! She can’t leave..don’t leave me. If you do I might as well curl up in a ball and DIE!!!

What feelings if any, does this evoke in you..do you have something you’d like to share.. do so in the reply column below and we can continue our discussion.. Thanks for being here!!! Look forward to hearing from YOU!!!

© Patricia Bateson 2017
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